alexchapman

Name:	Alex Chapman
Age:	In Oak Barrels
Height:	Verging on dizzy
Waist:	Just below the belly button - Why, isn't yours???
Inside Leg:	All present and correct!
Hair:	Pretty much everywhere - blame it on my mother, she's Italian, you see!
Eyes:	Almost always crossed
Favourite Food:	My Grandmother's homemade lasagne: to die for - she's Italian, you see!
Least Favourite Food:	YukDonald's
Favourite Colour:	Boing!
Least Favourite Colour:	Magnolia
Favourite Cheese:	Stilton or goat's cheese
Least Favourite Cheese:	Mild cheddar
Favourite Song to Play:	Golden Touch, Romeo & Juliet, Purple Rain ... I could go on
Least Favourite Song to Play:	Brown-Eyed Girl (Well, can't anyone think of anything more original!?!? ... and anything by Oasis (some great songs, chaps, but why are you both so oafish!?!
Favourite Word:	Trumpet
Least Favourite Word:	Nice
Most Precious Thing:	Trust
Pet Hate:	Well, it used to be people who insist on driving in the middle lane on the motorway but I've now got a new one: traffic lights on roundabouts. What pillock dreamed up that one??? The whole point of a roundabout is to increase the flow of traffic at a junction. So, let's stick a set of traffic lights on there to stop it all flowing, and turn it back into the type of junction it would've been anyway had they not built a roundabout. The really clever bit is that no-one knows how it supposed to work because it's neither a junction, nor a roundabout, so you get double the mayhem. Fantastic idea! You queue to get on it. You queue to get around it. And you queue to get off it. And when you do get on it, you can't even make it to the next bloody set of lights because there are cars backed up, stopping you getting there. All the while, engines are idling, sending even more unnecessary fumes into the atmosphere. And what's more, they've spoilt all the fun of driving round the roundabout just for the hell of it (although I acknowledge that the flaw in my argument, there, is that that, too, sends unnecessary fumes into the atmosphere) Godforsaken meddlars!
He Says:	Focus on the now, give it all the love you have, then yesterday and tomorrow will be just dandy!
They Say:	Get a proper job!
Other:	Oh, yeah! Did I mention that I sing and play the guitar rather well and have been for about 20 years? Gizza gig!